


shoot me, it'll hurt less

by Suz_6_2



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Universe, Complete, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, No Angst, Post-Battle, Post-Canon, Pre-Battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-08 17:38:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14110572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suz_6_2/pseuds/Suz_6_2
Summary: “Ever since I saw you on that bridge, in D.C., I’ve missed you.”orwhat happened between bucky and steve on the ship after the battle in the airport, before the battle with tony, and after the battle with tony. takes place during Captian America: Civil War.





	shoot me, it'll hurt less

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction in the Marvel universe, which I only just started to marathon these movies about a week ago, so please do comment if I got information wrong. I always enjoy some feedback.

Bucky ran his metal hand through his hair once more within the past ten minutes, trying to get a glimpse on what events were occurring down below the ship in the air. Currently, all the Winter Soldier saw from the limited view out of the bulletproof windows was Tony’s friend with the silver suit (he thinks his name is Rhodes?) flying closely behind them, catching up speed, followed by Tony and his flaming red suit. 

“Steve-“ he started, the other man closely focusing on flying both of them out of there, however, suddenly out of nowhere, Bucky caught a glimpse of a very bright beacon of light come from the distant ground below. For a moment he flinched, prepared for impact on the carrier that Steve was still too focused on piloting that he didn’t even turn back to see the events conspiring down below. The strong beam ended up just grazing Rhodes, his suit going dark and disappearing from Bucky’s vision. 

Tony quickly followed his friend after that, and soon, the sky was clear of any other person behind them. Bucky breathed out a sigh of relief, closed his eyes and let his head fall back against his seat. Steve was oblivious of anything behind the ship, which made sense to Bucky; he was currently flipping switch after switch to level them out and fly the hunk of metal as fast as possible away from the battle. 

After a while, they finally reached their distance from the others in some mountains, the clouds hanging low in Steve’s view in front of him, with the sun disappearing behind them. The darkness almost came with the silence surrounding the two heavily breathing men, adrenaline still pumping through their veins. The danger was gone – and now it was just them, Bucky thought. Just them against the world. 

The silence was then broken by the Winter Soldier, talking to the only other person who stuck by his side though everything. 

“What’s going to happen to your friends?” He asked attentively, glancing up from his lap to Steve, who was no longer flying the ship. Captain America turned his chair to face Bucky, removing his mask and sorting out his hair before responding. 

“Whatever it is…I'll deal with it.” Steve turned back towards the windows, closing his eyes and evening out his breathing once more. He did not want to think about his friends being locked up in cells, being brought into cold, steel rooms to be questioned over and over, their hands cuffed together and restrained to four metal walls until deemed okay for them to be released. Steve thought of Tony instead, the bastard watching from two-way mirrors, contacting every integrator he knew to question people who dared go against his ideals of government control. It hurt Steve to see Tony like this, however, it hurt Steve more when he saw Bucky in the glass and metal cage they used to contain him in Berlin. 

“I don’t know if I’m worth all of this, Steve.” Bucky interrupted his thoughts like a steel knife cutting through butter. The sound of his voice was exhausted, slightly gruff and overall, woven with self doubt. Steve turned his body around again, eyes widening at the statement. Bucky continued to look down at the metal floor, rumbling beneath them with each turn of the engines. Steve opened his mouth to rebuttal, however his mouth then closed again, no sound coming out of his throat. It was suddenly too dry in the cockpit, too thick with tension, too much to handle for Steve. 

“What you did all those years,” Steve started, carefully choosing his words to convince Bucky otherwise, “it wasn’t you. You didn’t have a choice.”  
Steve kept looking at Bucky, who continued to refuse eye contact. 

“I know.” Bucky’s hair slightly wavered, the grease and sweat shimmering off the roots clearly, even in the dim light. The Winter Soldier craned his neck towards his friend, finally looking at the blond-haired man in front of him, sitting and listening closely. “I still did it.”

“Hydra controlled you. All those killings…they were not you. That was Hydra using your body.” Steve almost wanted to be closer, however when he realized his chair was bolted to the floor and could not be moved closer to Bucky, he stayed put in his seat. 

For a while, neither of them said anything. The silence returned, Bucky hearing a slight ring in his ear due to the lack of conversation. Steve broke the silence.  
“Do you remember a lot? About before?” 

“It’s just glimpses. Small things. I feel…something that I obviously felt before, but I have no idea how to decipher them into actions or words.” Bucky explained and let his eyes wonder outside to the windows again, imagining the air rushing past them as the ship followed the appropriate path towards their destination. 

“We were close.” Steve simply demanded, relaxing his posture into the pilot’s chair. The statement was obvious, even Bucky could feel it in his mind, no matter how much he was brainwashed into being Hydra’s personal weapon. 

“I read that in the museum.” Bucky sighed, rubbing at his face, still not looking towards Steve. “We were inseparable, they said. Friends since childhood. Side by side in battle. I feel how close we were, and I don’t feel it with anyone else.”

Steve pondered this, and realized that even after seventy years, he had not felt this close to anyone in his life. Bucky knew him – knew how he fought, acted, thought, and all his intentions. 

“You’re right. I feel it too.” 

“Do you?”

Bucky darted his eyes to Steve when he asked this, both blue eyes piercing the other. The silence from then on was suddenly magnified, and Bucky felt his own breathing speed up along with his one palm start to sweat on his right thigh. 

Steve sat up straight all of a sudden, then stood up, feeling his own joints crack after being held still for so long following the battle. Walking towards Bucky, he kneeled down in front of him, the material of his suit practically grinding against his skin, suddenly feeling too tight on his body. He was only half an arm’s length away from the other now, and Bucky was doing everything he could not to look at Steve’s way while he scooched closer to the Winter Soldier.

Bucky eventually gave in, and looked directly at Steve’s pale face and into the blue eyes where he felt safe and secure. He lifted the metal on his left side, the heavy material twisting towards Steve’s face. Captain America’s face, Bucky reminded himself. 

The glove he wore brushed upon Steve’s cheekbone, the pad of the artificial thumb brushing just below the blue eye of Bucky’s friend. Steve etched closer, only inches from Bucky’s features, but stopped when he saw Buck slightly move his body away from him. The look of disappointment must have been evident on his face, for Bucky’s eyes changed to that of pity. 

“Steve…I don’t-“ Bucky started, but was then silenced by the other man placing of his – now – ungloved hands on each side of the soldier’s face. Steve moved closer, their noses slightly brushing. He took note of how the stubble of Bucky’s cheeks felt between his fingers, and as he put slight pressure on the softness of the skin, he felt the hair poke at his calloused hands. Neither man moved from that moment on, their breaths mingling together and eventually becoming one as time passed on. 

“What are you doing?” Bucky managed to whisper out, afraid if he used his full voice, it would come out dry and cracked. 

“Nothing.”

“What are you waiting for?”

“Nothing…” Steve rushed out, switching his weight to the other knee he was not currently on. He pulled back for a second or two, but was immediately pulled back by Bucky’s strong grip on his cheek. 

“Do it…” Bucky could hardly hear himself speak, his voice was almost begging Steve to do something. “Please, do something –“ 

Bucky was cut off by the rush of lips on his own and suddenly, his mind went blank.

The lips of Steve against his own were awkward. The angle was too straight forward, too rushed, too much excitement; not that he minded the passion behind it. Bucky could almost taste the dirt from battle in his mouth, along with the capped and cracked skin he felt lazily move against his lips. Steve would not relent, and Bucky, who almost had no experience that he remembered kissing people, reluctantly tried his best to kiss back. 

The awkwardness of the obvious inexperienced kiss soon fizzled into the air around them, and was soon replaced with care and longing. To anyone else, this would be considered the worst kiss of their lives, but to the Winter Soldier and Captain America, this was the best they could have asked for. 

Steve pulled away first for air, and opened his eyes to see Bucky following him with his head, not wanting the moment to end. After realizing that time had to continue, he hesitantly opened his eyes to find Steve slightly smirking, looking back into his eyes.

“That was the worst damn kiss of my life.” Steve started to laugh, making Bucky smirk back at him. 

“Wait, you’ve kissed someone before?” 

Both men laughed harder, Bucky pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes, enjoying the time they shared. 

(())

While Steve flipped more switches to land the aircraft upon the snow, the Winter Soldier opened a compartment of firearms, glancing over the machines and picking one near the front. He felt the weight in his hands, metal against meta on his left hand, and nodded to himself before closing the compartment and slung the weapon on his shoulder. The floor below him rumbled to a halt, and he suddenly felt the reality of what was about to happen. He was about to walk into the place where he was trained, basically raised from scratch.

Taking a deep breath, Bucky walked into the cargo hold of the ship that they stole, and met Captain by the ramp opening up to the cold world ahead of them. The silence was back again, but did not last long when the ramp started to descend to the world below. 

“Ever since I saw you on that bridge, in D.C., I’ve missed you.” Steve said, staring at the snow starting to fill into the cargo hold. 

“I pulled you out of the river because of the feeling that I felt while looking at you when we fought, I couldn’t tell what it was. I couldn’t leave you behind.” Bucky continued to stare ahead as well, the snowflakes landing in his hair. 

“It was difficult; knowing that you were alive while I had other missions to complete before I saw you again after the conference.” Steve sighed and looked towards his friend, possible lover, and partner in crime. He saw all of these titles in Bucky, and figured they all suited him. Steve suddenly felt a pang of nostalgia, realizing that over the past years – even in the ice – nothing has changed in this moment. Bucky was slightly different, and so was he, however they were going into battle once more, willingly, together. They always did it together. 

“I didn’t remember you after they shocked me again. I was another asset, once again.” Bucky’s voice was clipped at the end, obviously wanting to get off of the topic. 

“You don’t have to tell me.” Steve faced his entire body towards Bucky, stepping forward and holding out his hand to his friend’s shoulder. He clasped it firmly, and Bucky turned towards him, a look of warning on his face. 

Steve pulled Bucky into his arms, holding him until the other wanted to pull away. 

Bucky didn’t.

(())

Steve hurt all over. He could barely stand from where he was, but he had to get off of Tony, he had to get to Bucky, who was currently doubled over on the ground, the metal arm of his cast off to the side. 

His joints and muscles almost refused to move on his command, pulling his body up off of his enemy to make his way to his friend. Steve groaned as he grabbed his shield, walking over to Bucky, who he could imagine was in much worse pain. Grabbing his body and swinging Bucky’s right arm over his shoulder, Captain America held him up with whatever strength he had left, and started to make his way back to the ship. 

“That shield does not belong to you!” Steve barely heard Tony at this point, all he heard was the heavy breathing of the Winter Soldier, and the groans of movement coming out from his mouth. “My father made that shield!” 

Steve lost all care in the world, and tossed the piece of vibranium down at Tony. They glanced at each other one more time, before he heard Bucky groan in pain again, and Steve walked off with his friend on his arm. 

Once they made it to the ship, Bucky coughed up blood, and Steve left him on a chair in the cockpit once more before taking off as fast as he could. Switch after switch, he finally leveled out the ship, and leaned back against his chair to sigh out a shaky breath to calm his anxiety. Steve heard another cough behind him, and suddenly widened his eyes, remembering that Bucky was behind him in worse condition. 

Leaping out of his chair, Captain America leaned over the Winter Soldier. Bucky smiled at him, the blood dripping down his chin. It wasn’t much in reality, just enough to be noticed, but not enough to cause or indicate serious danger. 

“Steve…I’m alright.” Bucky assured him, but Steve rushed forward and pushed his lips against Bucky’s slightly blood-stained ones, in another awkward angled kiss. Bucky moved his head to get it right this time, and even through the blood and the dirt, Steve loved every second of it. 

“Where are we going?” Bucky asked, pulling away for a breath. He felt dazed, in retrospect to what happened to him. He should be dead. 

“I’m getting everyone else who helped us escape at the airport. They need me.” Steve brushed his hand against Bucky’s face, laying his own on the other’s chest. Bucky looked up at the metal above his head and smiled. 

“Let’s go, then.”


End file.
